You can love someone so much, and your entire life might revolve around this person; I grew to the point I thought nothing would ever separate us ...
Well trusting someone will always love you as much as you love them, is not smart; I went off to college - because I knew we needed money... she wanted to work with horses for a living.
While away - it was tough - and in hindsight I shouldn't have thought of love as something that can survive and overcome anything.
She got too lonely, she didn't want to be where I was at... in the environment I had to be in... she didn't want to be a part of... it took us 10 hours to see each other, when we even could see each other.
In other words - she loved herself, and her life... more than me ... and my whole life was just planned around her... and then I had no idea what the purpose of my life was - I decided, it must have been to a sacrifice for programming, for my future... I must focus all that love and energy into my learning and knowledge, or I won't survive day to day.
This problem started 25 years ago and has never been resolved... probably yet another part of my mental health problems.
Comments